14/05/2017
He: It is not the place or the space, It’s you!
She: What about me?
He: When you smile you bring my childhood, you bring the colors back! you are innocent.
She: But
He: There is no but just innocent.
She: (laughing)
He: I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am, I am what I think you think I am.
15/05/2017
He: Hey, I just wanna apologize for my behavior during the last few days, I acted like a child and I put you in awkward situation with your friends, I drugged you to that and I’m the only responsible for it. I’m so sorry again, you are such a great girl. (p.s: I just wanted to tell you this here because I didn’t want anyone to hear it)
She: I knew you gonna say this to me since I had a feeling about it. Anyway, it was not only you. I was feeling guilty as well. I just don’t understand sometimes people just get me wrong as I never had any bad intention to do something harmful. I’m so friendly to everyone but probably sometimes I don’t realize that it goes wrong in the wrong time that’s why I feel so stupid now. For now, I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I have ruined everything. I screwed everything. I am so sad, totally sad. My friends even did not behave like usual to me. Well yeah I made them disappointed. I think they are done with me plus they might think that I’m totally a bad girl while I dated their friend I flirted with you (re: they don’t even know I have such a complicated relationship with my bf now and I think I didn’t flirt with you -_-) so they might put all the blame on me now. I understand it. the reality is more than welcome. You don’t need to say sorry at all. You are good guy and I enjoy your company talking about many things while people get it wrong that I spent way too much time with you rather than others. In my opinion, it’s gonna be different story if those people are as responsive as you.
He: First of all you don’t date me and we basically didn’t do anything wrong. It was just the wrong time. Secondly, They are not mad at you and they are so proud of you, so don’t make a big deal of it. You know what, I screwed everything, I like you and I will always do and I think you gonna be great, just don’t say I’m gonna fart in front of people LOL .
She: Conclusion: The wrong time made me like you too so let’s put the blame on the wrong time and by the way I’m still gonna say I’m gonna fart in front of you :p
…………………………………………………..It’s started …………………………………………………….
He: Starting from tomorrow you have to study and chat less. Think about your future. Your grades are so important. I have to make sure you’re doing your best. That’s my responsibility. I want you to do great in your study and in your life.
He: I’m so comfortable with you. I have never been like this with anyone. I’ve showed you my shiest flaws.
He: You have a heart of a mother. The way you care about me and about others. I didn’t feel like this towards a woman before. Your way is so special. When I saw you with the kids. You gonna be a great mom. When I was sick you took care of me. You make me smile. I love you.
He: I wanted you to hold me because I don’t want you to ignore me.
He: I’m really not good man when I get mad especially when I ask for a simple thing from the girl that always telling me she loves me more than myself. I get so pissed off with you. I asked you many times but you did the same thing like three times now so I won’t ask you again. I just wanted some love and care from you. I’m too sensitive to be with any woman. I get hurt from silly things. I don’t want you to leave me. I love you. You’re all women to me that’s why I get mad and blame you. I don’t like me when I’m sleepy or when I’m tired. I look for trouble and I burden you. I’m like a kid but I only realize that later the day when I’m normal. I’m sorry. I love you. I know you will take care of me. I know you will not hurt me or leave me because you love me. I love you. I love you so much. Just forgive my childlike behavior when I’m going to sleep. I was thinking that what if we couldn’t continue this relationship, what you would remember about me. I don’t want you to remember me being rude to you. I just want you to remember my love and my respect and appreciation to you. I know it sounds sad but this is possible. I’m not a bad guy I just lose my temper sometimes.
He: Babe, I wanna coordinate with you even if we are not in a relationship. I want our names to be together at least on the journal paper. If someday we couldn’t be together I want my name to be attached with your name in that paper forever. I would be very happy to bring something good to your career. I don’t wanna break your heart. I don’t want you to curse my name in the future. I want you to be aware of the fact that this relationship might end in the future. Are we clear? I love you my smart woman. we gonna always be a good friends right? despite the nature of our relationship? I keep telling you this because I know it’s gonna be hard to convince my family. I don’t wanna lose you. I’m just protecting you from pain. I’m not saying it will not be painful if we break up but at least we gonna be aware of it. Hope I’m not making you sad. I’m not breaking up with you by saying this. God knows how much I’m worried about hurting you because you’re such a great woman. A woman that gained my trust and my respect. You made me beautiful. Thank you.
He: Don’t forget me. I still might hurt you and cause you pain this coming months. You’re great. I’m happy and proud being with a woman like you and I’ll always be. You’re a beautiful soul. I miss when you took care of me while now I’m just like an orphan who is far from you. I don’t want you to leave me because of my stupidity. Soon of after I’m gonna make you tired of me. You will not hurt me right? you will not ignore me right? you will always love me right? I trust you more than anyone. I tell you everything. I know you won’t leave me or hurt me. My heart is with you. I love you my baby girl. You’re good in too many things. You make me feel home. You’re more than just girlfriend to me. You know, my mom now isn’t like before. For example if I tell her I’m sick that I have flu, she will forget and ask me again what’s wrong with me after few hours and I have to tell her again. When I left 4 years ago she was strong but when I came back I was shocked. This is so painful to me. Home isn’t home anymore. The strong woman I looked up to all my life now can’t even take care of herself. I feel like it’s not fair. I’m still young to lose my mom. I feel so guilty for leaving for 4 years without coming back. I’m not telling you this to justify my behavior with you. I’m a responsible man for my shit and I don’t seek pity. I just feel comfortable to talk to you about everything. I know you will take care of me. You always do. Even when I’m too much you always embrace me. I have this fear of you leaving me because I’m complicated. I will only leave for a reason beyond my control. You’re beautiful soul. You’re smart. You make me happy. I don’t have any problem with you being tough. Not at all. Don’t stop loving me. I love you so much. Lucky to have you.
He: To be honest, I have never cared about a girl like I do with you. Seriously. I never wanted to make a girl happy like I want to do with you. I never respected a girl before like I do to you. You’re my favorite piece of love. You’re amazing. If someday I left, you must know that I had no choice and that I had loved you from deepest corner in my heart. You’re amazing. You took care of me like a mom which no one has done that before to me. You have a good heart. You’re smart. You know how to deal with my shit. Being next to you feels like home. You’re a strong girl. You can tell me to shut up and be tough with me when it’s necessary. Believe me, I didn’t even mention half.
He: I hate this distance between us. I’m not sure we will end up together. All I want now is to meet you again. You gonna be in pain if we broke up. Aren’t you afraid of that? You won’t regret these moments with me? My family try match me with a girl comes from my country. Go for that! Do you think I’m wasting time with you! It’s so hard for me but I’m trying to negotiate and evaluate everything. I just can’t bite the hand that always feed me. I respect you. You’re amazing. Really amazing. I always pray to choose the good thing for both of us. You and me. I’m sure if we meant to be together nothing will stop it. You’re so mature but I don’t wanna hurt you. No girls has made me feel like you do. It’s like a magic. You’re a beauty. Believe me when I tell you that because I know beauty. You’re so cute and sweet. I will never get bored of you even for a second. My good woman. My good friend and lover. You’re my favorite. You make me feel special and love myself. I will be a rock when you feel weak and you can always run to me.
23/06/2017
He: I think this relationship has to stop. You got an idea what’s happening here. I’m not heartless. I want you to be strong. I still care about you a lot and my feeling didn’t change at all but I believe this is the right time to put an end to this. I swear I never wanted to hurt you or make you sad. God knows my feeling now but you have to be in my position to understand why I’ve done this. Don’t hate me. Let us have a space. You will never know what will happen in the future. I wanna keep in touch with you. I still believe in you a lot.
24/06/2017
_END_
