She didn’t blame anything but human nature. People can change easily. At least he said so to her which even made so much sense for her. They both agreed then they played the game. From the coffee invitation to be the real coffee maker. From the lunch invitation to be the great chef. From the local tour guide to be a travel mate. The excitement in almost every story they shared. Language exchange led into the mutual understanding of enthusiasm. So quick and extremely fast. Slowly but sure in welcoming the reality. Suddenly split! Sweet and sour at the same time.
He helped her to forget her sadness to create another sadness.
Wet heat choking her heart humidity. Her fragile soul keeps hunting the freedom which will never happen. It ain’t pretty at all just she hasn’t really got any better plan after all. That’s truly fucked as she gotta say. She said she gotta beat them down. But she needs to get hurt more often to figure out the pain perfectly. She’s trying to detect all hints of a blackout even though her soul tried to reject them. Falling apart was real until their road will cross again. For a moment she just couldn’t adapt to the new environment as she felt into deep while perhaps he just somebody who’s passing through in a short moment. She was super jealous by knowing he could move forward without her. Indeed, she played the jealousy game to blame him when he enjoys his present life without her. It doesn’t mean he didn’t count every single moment they lived together in the past. Left unsaid? Just she hoped he would understand how happy she was to be with him, how valuable the happiness he could ever offer her. He can’t imagine, neither have no idea. What did they miss? What kind of approach they did wrong? Perhaps, he was selfish. He forced her to follow his philosophy while he couldn’t understand her philosophy. Well, they’re only a human and God has fashioned them for love and their greatest tragedy. Probably they will find each other in the future and finding themselves thinking to each other in the same tone as they used to. Reminding themselves in the mirror that they almost made it in the past but ended up breaking each other’s hearts instead.
Just the cost of knowing love is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay. Their messy and unstable life couldn’t afford the cost. The question is did they fall in love or out of love? She didn’t have the answer herself. Neither him.